And here we are. Back to school.
Did we mark everything off our summer bucket list? No. But did we make the most of the summer break that we had? We certainly made a valiant effort.
All three kids started back to school yesterday, all at the same school, my beautiful babies. Honestly, most days this summer I took for granted. Late mornings, coffee in my pjs, snuggles on the sofa. Sweet conversations and pressure-free bedtimes. All summer long I thought, “oh, we have plenty of time. We have WEEKS left!” When in fact, we had hours. Minutes. Seconds.
As much as I love all the breaks we get during the year, I feel a bit cheated from a few more weeks of the laid-back, comfortable, ring-around-the-rosie afternoons of summer. The nights when the kids are up far too late, but does it really matter? The days when the kids get cleansed by the pool or the sprinkler; when they get giddy in washing the car. The days when they beg for snacks at 9:00 in the morning, and then again at 11:00, and 2:00, and 4:00, and right before dinner…
I love routine. I love agendas and calendars, and to-do lists and predictability. But during the summer, it falls by the wayside and I love the change. The shift in attitude and perspective. But now we’re switching back to schedules and organization, and there is a certain comfort in that as well.
I was chatting with a mom today and we were both saying how proud we are of our kids and how they’re growing to be so smart and so independent, but that it’s still so hard to let them go. How they’re doing exactly what we’ve raised them to do, but it’s so bittersweet. And that’s definitely how I felt this morning. I’m so proud of the kids and that they’re SO EXCITED to go to school and learn and meet new friends, but I feel like they are moving slightly further and further away from me, inch by inch, minute by minute. But as my friend said this morning, “isn’t that exactly what we WANT them to do?” Yes. But it’s still hard.
So here’s to a new school year! I’m not going to dwell on my sadness, but try to focus on the good, on the progress, on the kids and how they’re happy and healthy and developing and doing just what we’ve raised them to do. Here’s to the moms learning and growing as much as the kids do.