To All the Moms on Mother’s Day

Ten years ago this weekend, I had the worst Mother’s Day of my life.  A month prior, I saw those two blue lines on a pregnancy test, and started plotting and planning about how my life was about to change with a new baby and motherhood looming.  Then all hopes and dreams were dashed in a sterile doctor’s office, as I saw the baby but heard no heartbeat.  And two days before Mother’s Day, 2008, I was in the hospital having surgery; and holding a baby and becoming a mother had never seemed so far away.

In the ten years since, we have been blessed enormously, with Brantley, Grayson, and Bennett; the children that I wasn’t sure I would ever know way back in 2008.  Being their mother will forever be the greatest part of my life, and they bring more love, joy, laughter, perspective, faith, inspiration, dedication, and intensity to my life than I could have ever imagined.  I think the woman I am now is simply inspired by the person I was before children; they give me direction, purpose, a sense of responsibility, and a focus that I didn’t have before, and wouldn’t have without them.

My Mother’s Days since 2009 (when I was about to POP with Brantley) have been joyful and sweet, full of homemade cards and Sunday brunches, thoughtful gifts, and relaxing afternoons.  But I won’t soon forget that first Mother’s Day in 2008,  when my circumstances were so raw and painful that I couldn’t even celebrate my own amazing mom, for fear of drowning in my own despair and heartache.  And I know there are other mamas and other women that are still treading water through that same pool I was in years ago.

I received some wonderful advice after my miscarriage, right before I became pregnant with Brantley.  A family friend told me that if I wanted to be a mother, then I would be a mother.  It may not be the way I ever imagined or the pretty way I had planned it all out, but if I wanted to become a mom, then it would happen.  And it did.  And it hasn’t all been pretty.  It’s been hard and frustrating and confusing and contradictory and infuriating and stressful and maddening, but it has ALL BEEN WORTH IT.

Today I’d like to honor those moms that are simply doing it.  You might be rocking it, and you might be barely surviving.  But you’re all fulfilling an incomparable calling and duty will never be fully acknowledged or appreciated.  I know I can’t fully put into words how much I love my mom and all that she means to me.  But I’m here to pat you all on the back and give you a hug and let you know that I am right there with you, and I think you’re doing an amazing job.

Here’s to the moms who live off coffee, dry shampoo, and God’s grace (HALLELUJAH)…

To the moms that send the kids off on the bus then race to work, put in a full day, and then come home to work “second shift” making dinner, doing homework, and reading bedtime stories…

Here’s to the moms who apologize for their untidy homes, even as they welcome in other moms with (unknowingly) equally untidy homes…

To the moms who are raising children that are not theirs by nature, but are certainly theirs by responsibility, dedication, and love…

Here’s to the moms who attend every practice, every game, every meet, and remember every jersey, every bat, every helmet…

To the moms struggling to raise their children without having their own mothers in their lives…

Here’s to the moms who bring in the treats, who volunteer in the classrooms, who are there for the field trips, the field days, and the class parties…

To the moms that forget the softball belt, send in the field trip form late, and skid into the carpool lane on two wheels at 8:39 (*hand raised*)…

Here’s to the moms who count down to bedtime, and then sleep stalks their kids because they miss them so much when it’s quiet…

To the bonus moms that don’t have children of their own but have “raised” countless children throughout their lives…

Here’s to the moms who pray FOR their kids and WITH their kids on the way to school everyday…

To the moms who eat gummies in the pantry just to sneak a minute alone…

Here’s to the moms who cry sometimes because IT’S SO HARD, but they wouldn’t have it any other way…

To the moms who end up being their grown-up children’s best friend because they are always there and full of constant love and support (Thanks, Mom)…

Here’s to the moms that pray for the spouses of their children as much as their actual children (Thanks, Leah)…

To the moms at heart who aren’t sure what their own journey of motherhood will be but still keep the faith…

Here’s to the moms that are simply doing the best they can to raise kind, respectful, responsible, loving, smart, caring, empathetic, decent children with the tools and the experiences and the resources they possess…

…Happy Mother’s Day.
I hope you know that you are valued and you are so, so important.
I hope your day is full of love and happiness, and that you know that you are doing a great job.

 

 

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