50 Things I’m Bad At

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Typical state of Ben’s room. He’s so proud.

Nobody is perfect.  Despite the neat and clean Instagram pic of the playroom, all the unorganized toys are pushed out of view.  Despite the homemade dinner on the Facebook feed, 2  days worth of dishes sit in the sink.  Let’s all shout it together!  NOBODY IS PERFECT!  That means YOU!  And it certainly means me.  And I tell ya, if there is anything at all that we have all have in common, it’s that we are all trying to make the best lives we can, using the gifts and talents God gave us.  And doggone it, there is no need to fake perfection since we all know that nobody is achieving it.

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Normal state of the laundry room

I have friends ask me sometimes, “How do you do it all?,” and “Amanda, you always look so put together!” I may stroke my ego for just a second, pretty proud that I pulled off SUCH an illusion, but then I just laugh to myself, because I am no different than any other crazy-busy, spread-too-thin, just-trying-to-keep-my-family-alive mom.  I don’t have any tricks (other than dry shampoo and red lipstick??), and I really don’t want to give the impression that I do!  I frame my Instagram and Facebook posts as beautifully as everyone else, but just like everyone else, something is lacking, and something is being sacrificed.  I am not Super Woman!  I am Every Woman.

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Oh, the playroom

I am proud of my strengths and talents and gifts, but I am definitely not ashamed of my weaknesses and my flaws.  I firmly believe that vulnerability can be empowering, and would like to expose myself a little bit today.

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All day every day in the den

I have created a list of 50 things that I am bad at.  Maybe not all things I am  bad at, but things I am bad at, things I don’t like, my quirks and things I’m self conscious about.  I am sharing them because I am not perfect.  And that’s okay.  And the even better news?  I am not alone!  Take pride in your shortcomings.  Rejoice in your “flaws.” Those things are what connect us and make us special.  And once we really embrace our passions and those things we’re really good at in life, these things that I am not as good about won’t matter much anyway.

So read on, and see if you can relate!

  1. I don’t floss.  I know it’s gross not to floss, but I actually think flossing is gross in and of itself.  #dilemma
  2. I can/will leave dirty dishes in the sink for daaaaaaaaaays.
  3. I curse in the car.  A lot.
  4. I love McDonalds, Taco Bell, and pretty much all fast food that’s horrible for you.
  5. I sweep up and throw away puzzle pieces instead of putting them away. #noshame
  6. I yell at my kids far more often as I’d like to admit.
  7. I love cookies, but don’t like cookie dough (I know I’ll probably lose friends over this one :)).
  8. I am very impatient.
  9. Some days I go straight from drinking coffee to drinking wine.  Nothing in between (let me just say that’s a lot of late afternoon coffee, not early morning drinking, lol!).
  10. I can’t watch tv without doing something else too (I’m writing this and watching Big Brother at the same time).
  11. I have to wash loads of laundry twice because I forget about them for a few days and they smell (I know, gross, right?  Don’t tell me you’ve never done it).
  12. If we’re in the car, the kids are watching movies.
  13. I do not like my thighs.  Never have.
  14. I am bad about replying to emails, texts, voicemails,etc.  I either respond in 3 minutes or 3 days.
  15. I stay up waaaaaaay too late, even when I don’t have to/shouldn’t.
  16. I clean our playroom once a week, and the rest of the time you pretty much can’t walk through it.
  17. I sleep in my contacts for months.
  18. I hate playdoh.  The kids play with it at school, but if it’s ever at home it always “gets lost.”
  19. I have a black thumb.  I cannot keep plants and flowers alive that I bring into the house (might help if I remembered to water them, like ever).
  20. I snooze for about an hour every.single.morning., and still get up late on some days.
  21. When I don’t want to share my food or a snack with the kids, I just tell them “it’s too spicy.” #momwin
  22. I burn the first round of grilled cheese and pancakes every single time I make them.
  23. There are exactly zero rooms in my house that are completely decorated.  We have lived in our house for over four years.
  24. I always send birthday cards and gifts late. #sorry
  25. I don’t wash my face at night.
  26. I need to lose about 15 pounds (at least).
  27. I am a bit of a hypochondriac (self-diagnosed with lung cancer, colon cancer, .
  28. I am great at organizing.  I am terrible at keeping things organized.  Does that make sense?
  29. I slouch.
  30. I really ought to exercise.  And drink more water (see #9.  And the reason for #26).
  31. I wish I was more quick-witted.  I can think of great jokes and comebacks, about 45 minutes too late.
  32. I have an obsession with lists and notebooks.  Once my list books get too full and start looking shabby and worn, no matter how full the notebook, I buy a new one (the same one every time), and transfer all my lists to the new notebook, all nice and neat.
  33. I can’t wait until my kids are old enough and we can give them chores.  Scott and I talk about it all the time, what we are going to assign to whom. #dishestobrantley #trashtoben #vaccuumingtogracie
  34. I’d like to be a freak about grammar, but more often than not, I don’t proof-read or edit posts, texts, comments, messages, etc., so there are plenty of errors that I never notice.
  35. I have anxiety issues.
  36. I need to whiten my teeth (maybe if I flossed more…???).
  37. I overextend myself a lot.  Working on that though. #bestyes
  38. So many times, especially when we’re out of our routine, and I’ve been home with the kids for several days on end (and we’ve all been sick and are stir crazy anyway), I really do feel like I don’t have a hold on things, and my kids are going to absolutely make me lose my mind.  But then I remember, it’s not me, it’s them.
  39. I hate driving if Scott’s in the car with me.  He makes me terribly nervous.
  40. It is very hard for me to unplug.  But recently, I have been making a conscious effort to, as Jackie Kennedy said (paraphrased), “live my life instead of documenting it.”
  41. I will never live down the fact that I mistakenly used a leaf of cabbage instead of lettuce, when making the crunchiest sandwich my dad has ever had, when I was young and impressionable, and just learning to cook (I know my mom and dad are dying laughing reading this and remembering that day).
  42. Sometimes I add things to my to-do lists that I have already done, just so I can cross them off.
  43. I can’t add or subtract (forget multiplying and dividing) anymore, like, at all, without a calculator.
  44. I would rather be inside than outside.
  45. The inside of my car is always a wreck.  There are literally 6 pairs of kids shoes in the backseat as we speak.
  46. It takes me about a month to unpack from a weekend away.
  47. I don’t eat breakfast (I know, I know, again, #26, but it’s just harrrrrrrrrrd for me).
  48. I do not iron.  Unless I am pressing seams and garments as I am making them, I do not iron.  Everytime I try to iron something, I’ll spend tn minutes on it, only to look exactly the same as when I started.  The dry cleaner does it very nicely. 🙂
  49. I only begin to clean my bathrooms when they become gross visibly dirty.  That or we have company coming over.
  50. I am a terrible procrastinator.  If it needs to be done tomorrow, I’ll be up all night the day before.

Whew!  It kind of feels good to let those things go?!  It’s scary to admit your failures.  Your weaknesses.  But, being willing to be vulnerable can make us stronger!  And make us focus on improvement and embracing every part of who we are as a whole; knowing that it’s the good and bad parts together that make us so special.  And no social media post will ever be able to encapsulate that.

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